Shh It's a secret!
by MelanieVimpula
Summary: Lovino finds out Feli's little secret and decides to use it against him. Almost adult Italies. Mature content. I warned you! Could also be considered as a romantic story.


This is a bit different type of story this time, as it has more of a plot, Feli and Lovi are younger and it's god damn long.  
So, you could say it's a lovestory á la Melanie~ See it as you like.

Content: Blackmailing, Psychopath!Lovi, Itacest (aka. incest), Dub-con, rape, voyerism and romance in a way...  
Rating: MA  
I've warned you!

* * *

My name is Lovino. I'm 19 by now and I've just graduated from the high school. I have no fucking idea what to do now... I think I should move somewhere and get a job. Now I'm staying at home though. Well, my family... Mom is an artist. She's a graphic designer and paints on her free time. She's sweet and caring, maybe a bit odd sometimes but I love her nonetheless. But she's also very strict and can't stand dad's laziness. Dad is an office worker, I know no damn thing what he does there. I bet he fucks the sectaries... Dad's a bit grumpy, I guess I'm like him. He also has a little garden he tends, I have a tomato bush there and I love that little damn thing. And then, my brother. My brother, Feliciano... He's 17 and looks almost like me. The differences are that he has amber eyes and auburn hair where I have hazel-green eyes and dark chocolate coloured hair. He's also a head shorter than me, always happy and a bit childish sometimes, overally a sweet young man. Feli's artistic like mom, always scribbling something in his notebooks. He often gets on my nerves, but... I can't help but just love him. I mean LOVE him. Feliciano's like a delicate flower and I want to deflower him. I know these feelings aren't acceptable and I can't make them true, so I avoid him when possible. If he tries to hug, I push him away, insult him and treat him like nothing. I can't feel bad for him, I do this just for myself.

Well, actually... Love might be a wrong term. I've never felt that "love" people talk about. The feeling I have is more like lust. It's funny, I can't recognize many feelings from myself. I can act most of them out, but I don't feel them. I don't think it's wrong. I'm just a bit different. Then, I don't feel bad for others. Why should I? All that really matters is me.

Today Feliciano was at the entrance exam of his high school. Such a shame, he'll live here for about 3 years and I'll be moving soon. I don't want to leave yet, not before I've told him how I feel. But I can't do that. Everything's so hard... I'm in the kitchen eating an apple. It's my turn to do the dishes today. I bet I could persuade Feli to do it for me. … Actually, I want to do it with him. Maybe we could have a talk there... I touch my ear slightly, playing with my earrings. 3 black rings on the upper part of the right ear and one going trough auricle, 2 black rings on the upper part of the left ear. I like them and I beat up everyone who thinks they look girly. I once made Feli to take one too, he took a silver ring on his left ear. Oh damn, why he has to be so good looking all the time...? I finish eating the apple and throw it away.

The front door opens and closes, I bet it's Feli. I greet him:  
-"Ciao, how did it go?"  
Feliciano's shaky voice answers:  
-"W-Well... I think I passed it..."  
Strange, he sounds nervous. Did it really go that well?  
-"Bastard, come here. I want you to help me with the dishes." I shout. Feliciano gets quickly in the kitchen, tries to hug me and I dodge. He seems happy to me, maybe a little nervous. Why would he be nervous...?  
-"I'll be glad to help you, fratello~" He chirps and goes to the sink. I follow him.  
-"You wash, I dry." I grunt. It's actually really nice being next to him for a change. Feli starts rinsing the dishes first, then scrubbing them clean. Strange... Why he doesn't pull his hoodie's sleeves up? They're gonna get wet. It seems suspicious. I grab the sleeve of his light blue hoodie and yank it up. He flinches and tries to pull it back down, but I've seen enough: his arms are full of small text. Feliciano looks up at me and seems terrified.  
-"Please, don't tell anyone!" He begs. I smile slightly.  
-"So you're a cheater? You're not as perfect I thought then." I never thought that of my brother, maybe he's more like his dad with this matter. Feliciano is terrified, I can tell. He's afraid that I tell of this to someone. Maybe I can use this for my advantage...  
-"I- I wasn't sure was I going to make it! I was so nervous and I forgot everything and-!" He shouts but I put my finger over his lips to silence him.  
-"I think we can work this out somehow. I'm not a loud mouth you know. And I really don't hate you that much to kill your chances to get to that high school...~ Just do as I say and everything's fine." I say with a slight smirk, this is going to be great. Feliciano nods vigorously.  
-"I'll do anything you tell me to!" He still seems worried. I tell him to finish washing the dishes and we'll talk more later. Feliciano does as I tell. I walk out of the kitchen and yell:  
-"I'm going in my room now! Come there when you're finished." Then I walk upstairs and in my room.

It's a bit dark in there, the sunlight barely gets in between the curtains. I lay down on my bed and wait, counting the cracks on the ceiling. They're quite magical, they seem to change always when I look away. Some may think it's creepy, but I like it. There's always something new for me to look at. I lick my lips, close my eyes and just listen. There's sounds of plates and water in the downstairs, Feliciano's still washing the dishes. I drift in my thoughts of Feli wearing nothing but a white apron and doing his chores. That would be fun thing to make him to do... Sadly, after that my pants feel a bit tighter. Maybe, just maybe I could... Then there's a soft knock on the door. I open my eyes slowly and ask him to come in. It's almost odd how polite I am, but now the situation is new and exciting! Feliciano opens the door and steps in, closing it after himself.  
-"Your room is quite dark... Why not put some lights on...?" Feli asks carefully. I shrug.  
-"I like being in the dark, deal with it, bitch. Come here and sit down." Feliciano walks to me and sits down on the edge of my bed. He doesn't even flinch of my foul language any more. I think he's used to it already.  
-"So... Roll your sleeves up and show me what the hell you've done now." I grunt, sitting up. Feli pulls his sleeves up and gives his arms to me. I grab his wrists and start reading the text. Art history, chemistry, maths... I though Feliciano was good in those things!  
-"Aren't these things you already know?" I ask and Feli looks down.  
-"I was so nervous I couldn't remember any of those..." I let go of his wrists and smack him on the head.  
-"Idiot! Do you know what happens if anyone hears about this? What mom and dad would say?" Feliciano shakes his head and looks like he could cry. I must scare him properly before proceeding... I smile devilishly.  
-"And..." I take his hand and pull him up. "There is some things you can do to make big brother keep his mouth shut..." He follows like a dog, but seems slightly worried. I smirk and lean against the wall, slightly kicking on his knee.  
-"Get on your knees." Feliciano's eyes widen slightly and he does as told, but protests slightly.  
-"J-Just don't do anything too bad..." I laugh slightly and grab his hair, pressing his face against my crotch. Feli flinches and tries to pull away, clearly not up to what I had intended...  
-"No! I'm not doing that! Let me go or I'll tell dad-!" I let out an annoyed sigh and throw him on the floor. I crouch beside him and pull his sleeve up. Feli tries to struggle but I keep him tightly against the floor and take a pic of his arm with my cellphone.  
-"Too bad. Now I have a clear evidence of your doings...~" I whisper maliciously. "Would you now consider doing as I say?" Feliciano shakes, he's close to crying I see. Slowly he nods and I pull him back up.

Feli gets on his knees, looking submissive and scared. He strokes slowly over my still fabric covered cock. He shudders delightfully when he feels I'm hard.  
-"Is it really that bad? I think that's a small price for being banned in all of the high schools! Think of that..." I grunt, enjoying his slight touch. Feli nods tentatively, keeping his stroking pace slow and careful.  
-"Come on... I don't have the whole fucking evening for you!" I snap at him and he flinches, quickly proceeding to open my pants. Soon he gets my hard member out, staring at it. Then he licks on his hand and starts giving me a handjob, looking away. His hold is firm and feels awesome. An artist's slender hand is the best! It's almost a dream come true, but I'd rather feel his hot mouth than the soft hand... Feliciano looks disgusted and embarrassed, probably imagining himself out of the situation.  
-"Hey Feli... Mouth too." I smirk. Feli looks up and frowns.  
-"But- Y-you haven't even kissed me yet...? Aren't these things supposed to be done out of love...?" He asks carefully. I lift my brows.  
-"What are you? A fucking virgin? Just suck it. ...And I'm not some sick fuck who's in love with his brother..." That wasn't exactly true, but I just couldn't tell the truth either. Feliciano shudders and closes his eyes tightly, giving a tentative lick over the tip of my member. It sends hot shivers trough my body, his tongue feels so nice. I lightly put my hand on top of his head and guide my cock deeper in his mouth. Feliciano licks and sucks on me delightfully, making small slurping noises. It's cute, but I want to see his eyes too.  
-"Open your eyes, Feli..." I groan and he does so, though not looking at me, but somewhere else. He looks so embarrassed and humiliated, just the way I like it!  
-"Look in my eyes while you suck me off." I order him and he lets out a small whine. I pull his hair and he quickly looks up in my eyes. His amber eyes are a bit teary and sad looking. I loosen my grip and just push him down. He makes a slight choking noise and gets a terrified face. It feels great but Feli can't breathe, so I let him pull back. He gasps for air and sobs slightly, stroking me fast while he keeps a little break. Then he takes my member back in his mouth, licking and sucking harder. I moan and try not to push him too deep down, it feels unbelievably good... I know I'm close, just a little moment and I'll fill my brother's mouth with my cum. He'll like it or not, but it's all the same. On the edge of the orgasm I grab his head and push myself deep in his throat. He flails, mumbles and gags, but can't stop me. With a wide grin I fill his mouth and throat up and pull back, getting his face messy as well.

Feliciano pants hard, cum dripping down his face and chin.  
-"Swallow it. If you spit it on the floor, you'll also clean it up." I groan, trying to stay on my feet. He grimaces and swallows the sticky liquid, shuddering at the taste.  
-"D-done... W-We're good now...? Can I go?" Feli asks, looking rather nauseous. I nod.  
-"At least for now. I might need you later. But now you can go. Clean your face and arms. And even one word to mom or dad..." I whisper the last sentence ominously. He flinches.  
-"Y-you won't tell and I won't tell! Deal!" He stands up quickly, almost falling over and runs out of my room. I'm glad mom and dad aren't home yet. I hear the bathroom door close and I'm not sure if Feli's cleaning himself up or either throwing up. And I don't even care. He shouldn't have been so stupid to get caught, it's his own fault. I decide to go to sleep now, I feel terribly tired... I strip down and slip under the blanket. I always sleep naked and I know Feli does so too. I drift off listening to the sound of running water in the bathroom. I'll have more fun with Feli later...~

The next morning we act like nothing had happened. Though Feli avoids me a bit... He also looks very tired, like he hadn't slept last night at all. It's possible, I guess he was scared as hell. Mom and dad are oblivious to what has happened between us and better that way. They drink coffee and so do I, Feli drinks fruit juice. It's always like that. Though today Feli doesn't seem to get anything down, he just stares at his food, nibbling just slightly. Mom notices that.  
-"Feli dear, are you ill?" She asks. Feliciano looks down in his cereal.  
-"I-I guess so... I don't feel too good." He mumbles back, setting his spoon down. I bite on my toast and grin.  
-"That bastard's immunity is never too good." Feli doesn't look at me.  
-"...I think I'll go to bed." He mumbles and mom nods.  
-"I think that's a good idea." She says. Mom kisses Feli's forehead before she leaves for work. Dad just grunts "bye" and leaves as well.

We're alone again. I finish my breakfast quickly, Feliciano went to the upstairs few minutes ago. I go up too and open the door of his room. He's curled in a tight ball beneath his blanket.  
-"G-go away..." He mumbles. I close the door and walk closer.  
-"What's the matter Feli? Are you trying to sleep?" I ask, grinning the slightest. He sighs softly and turns to me, glaring from the depths of the blanket.  
-"Please leave if you're not here to apologize for the last evening." Feli grunts. I sincerely laugh. Why should I even apologize, I don't get it...  
-"I'm not apologizing, but I'm not leaving either. I'd like to ask for the next favour." I say, sitting on the edge of his bed. He tries to scoot further away.  
-"I'm not going to do anything for you! I'm going to tell mom and dad what you're doing to me...!" Feli shouts, trying to scare me. I grab his chin and smirk.  
-"Are you sure they would believe you? You have no evidence, unlike me. I have a picture, you have nothing." He grimaces and lets the blanket go.  
-"They'll believe me..." I roll my eyes. He's fighting back a bit more than I expected. I have to make him submissive again, otherwise I'm pretty much fucked.  
-"I didn't want to rely on this, but... Even one word to mom and dad... And I'm gonna fucking kill you." I whisper, for emphasis curling my fingers around his throat. I wouldn't really kill him, but as a threat it's useful. Feliciano looks plain terrified and tries to struggle out of my grip. I slowly let him go and ask:  
-"Understand?" Feli nods, breath still hitching in fear.  
-"Good..." I whisper in a soft voice. "Then you'll do the little favour for me~?" Feli nods again with tears in his eyes.  
-"W-what do you want...?" He asks, looking in my eyes. I smile.  
-"I was thinking of the last evening and I'm horny again... I bet you could fix that problem." I lay down beside him on the bed. He looks sad and tired, but he still obediently opens my pants and takes my member out.  
-"Today I can use only my hands, I'm too tired to do anything else..." Feli mumbles, starting to stroke on my member. It feels heavenly. I hold him closer to me and I want to kiss him... But I won't let myself do that. Not at least yet. Feli's hot breath hits my neck and his naked, shaking body is so close to me...  
-"Mmm... This could become a habit... You're so damn good with your hands~" I moan in his hair, already too close to coming.  
-"...Why you're even doing this...? I thought you could get every girl you want... They'd do this to you all willingly!" Feli whispers against my neck. I chuckle.  
-"I don't want any girl, another man knows what feels the best. Girls are boring... I need something new and more exciting." Feliciano shivers.  
-"...A-And I'm that 'new and exciting', huh...? But look, I really don't like sex without love, so please, cut it out already..." He whispers, stroking me faster and harder. I feel I'm going to come so I pull the blanket off Feli and come all over his chest. He looks a bit disgusted but wipes the last drop off the tip with his thumb. I'm all breathless. He pulls himself out of my arms and sits up.  
-"Happy now? I'm going to clean myself up..." He says and walks away. I still lay on his bed. I grab his pillow and hug it, it has his sweet scent in it. Sex without love, huh? But isn't it supposed to be just satisfying sexual needs and has nothing to do with love? I don't understand him, why to have such pitiful feelings when you do just fine without most of them...?

I hesitantly let go of his pillow and go in my own room instead. I really like Feli's scent... Now I'm quite pleased, but a bit sweaty. I think I need a shower... I hear Feli turn on the shower, this is my chance. I take my clothes off and toss them into a laundry pile, then I walk to the bathroom door. It's locked, of course, but these things are quite easy to open... I carefully turn the nub and it's done, I open the door quietly and step in. Feli doesn't notice me, he's his back towards me. I walk close to him and cover his mouth, wrapping my other hand tightly around his waist. He winces and lets out a muffled shriek, I scared him apparently~ I give a light kiss on his earlobe and whisper in his ear.  
-"Ciao...~ Mind if I join?" He shakes in my arms, not saying anything. I let go of him and step under the shower as well. He glares at me trough his wet bangs.  
-"Y-You scared me! You think that's fun? ...What the hell do you want now...?" I shrug slightly.  
-"I just felt like I wanted to take a shower." I answer, taking the sponge. He sighs. It's funny how people look so different when their hair is wet... I put soap on the sponge and rub it until it's covered in bubbles. Then I turn to him. My cum's still dripping down his chest, persistent stuff I must say! Feli gives me a suspicious look when I get closer to him.  
-"Now you want a shower blowjob, right? Why do you pester me this much?" He grunts, but this time he's wrong. I grab him on my arms and sit down on the floor. I don't want anything like that now, for some reason I just want to clean him up from this filth. I gently start scrubbing his chest clean. He lets out a surprised yelp, but soon relaxes, looking even less irritated. I like holding him close like this and taking care of him, but in turn I also like making him dirty and humiliated, how conflicting! It doesn't make any sense. He seems comfortable with this, maybe a little unsure, but I can see he likes it. Maybe this is what he meant with the 'love' thing? It makes me care of someone else too? That sounds ridiculous...

I gently wipe off every white stain on his chest and rinse the sponge. Then I move him off my lap and stand up, putting the sponge away and taking a shampoo bottle. I sit back down and push him to lean his back against the wall. Feli's curled up a bit, trying to cover himself from my eyes. It's cute, but now I don't get turned on by it. I pour some shampoo on my palm and start lathering his hair. He closes his eyes tightly, I know he hates it when the shampoo burns in the eyes. His cheeks are slightly red, I try to be as gentle as I ever can. Feli's light pink lips part slightly and a soft moan comes out, I soon notice that I forgot to avoid his curl. He curls up even tighter, looking even more embarrassed now. I continue, but this time I'm careful not to touch his curl. For some reason those persistent curls sticking up in our hair are erogenous. It's sometimes really annoying, since people often try to touch it and even combing hair can be like jerking off. When I'm done I rinse his hair, washing off the shampoo completely. He rubs his eyes slightly and opens them carefully. He still looks a bit scared, but not that uncomfortable. Suddenly he stands up and takes the shampoo bottle as well, then sitting back down and pouring it on his palm. Didn't I wash his hair properly? For my surprise, he starts lathering my hair. I wasn't quite expecting that! I close my eyes and let him do his job. The way his fingers rub my head feels good and relaxing. I rinse my hair myself. When I'm done I look at him.  
-"Why did you do that?" I ask. He tilts his head slightly, looking confused of my question.  
-"I returned the favour, ve...? You didn't want it?" What is that... returning the favour? Are favours supposed to be done equally? How stupid... I shake my head.  
-"Nah, I'm just not used to that... That's all." I answer and he nods. Now he even smiles. I bet he's thinking we can be just like before... But no, I'm not about to stop using him. I stand up and wash myself properly before stepping out. Feli stays to wash himself. I take a towel and dry my hair, after that wrapping it around my lower body. Feli turns the shower off and steps out shyly, quickly grabbing a towel to hide himself in. I sigh and take a small towel, stepping towards him. He flinches, but I just dry his hair. Then he thanks quietly and runs out, back to his room. Seems like he can't stand being close to me. Whatever... I return back to my room and go on my computer for few hours.

I just can't stop thinking of him. Everything I do, everything I try to delve into... All that comes on my mind is Feli's sweet face and his soft hands. I want him. I need him. It aches my insides, burns and feels weird... It's like I'm suffocating and I can't stop smiling like an idiot. This is something completely new and exciting indeed... I think I have to pay another visit to Feli later. I hear that mom and dad have returned from work and mom cooks dinner. I smell something delicious. Then I hear Feliciano's voice in the downstairs too, he's apparently helping mom with cooking. Such a sweet little bastard... I turn off my computer and decide to go downstairs and see what they're cooking. I stop at the doorway and peek in the kitchen. Both mom and Feli are wearing aprons. Mom wears her favourite red apron and Feli a green one. He's cutting onion. He's so skilled with that, I wonder how he never cuts himself by accident. I step in the kitchen and ask:  
-"What are you cooking?" Feli jumps and lets out a small whine, he cut himself by accident. Just when I thought he was so skilful... He turns around sucking on the small cut.  
-"Stew~ I'm cutting up the vegetables for it and mom fries the meat~" He looks a bit nervous, but can hide it pretty well. Mom looks at us and smiles, then turns back to the frying pan. I frown slightly and grab Feli's hand.  
-"Put a damn band-aid on that, I don't want to eat your blood..." An excuse to get Feliciano out of the kitchen. I pull him with me to the bathroom and he hesitantly follows.  
-"I-I don't think you just want to put a band-aid on my finger...?" He mumbles, giving me an unsure look. I grin and answer.  
-"Oh? What else could I do?" He seems a bit uncomfortable and plays with the hem of his apron.

I take a band-aid from the cabinet and put it over the small cut on Feli's finger.  
-"Expect me to come to you tonight, I need some comfort. But remember, even one word of this to anyone and you'll suffer..." I say to him, lowering my voice at the end. He seems a bit scared, but nods tentatively. I smile slightly and give a peck on his forehead.  
-"Don't be afraid. It's all right now. Go back to mom." He blushes crimson, nods and leaves. I smile. How weird... I don't usually smile this much. Feliciano's cute, especially when blushing like that. I sigh slightly and go back in my room to take a nap while waiting for the dinner.

A small whisper and a nudge on my shoulder wakes me up. I see mom's smiling face.  
-"Dinner time, Lovi~" She chirps with a voice as sweet as Feliciano's. I grunt slightly and get up, dragging my sleepy body downstairs. Feliciano and dad are already sitting in the table. I take my seat opposite to Feli and wait for mom to sit down. They pray, I just pretend. Then we eat. The stew is delicious, like all of mom's and Feliciano's cookings. The meat is tender and the vegetables a bit crunchy still. Feliciano doesn't eat much, I can see he's trying not to shake. How pathetic... I warned him beforehand that he wouldn't get scared, and now he's panicking! I don't get him at all... Feliciano thanks quietly and leaves the room. I devour the last of my food, thank and go after him. I catch Feliciano at his door, he looks frightened.  
-"W-what do you want...?" He asks with a faint voice. I lean against the frame of his door.  
-"I'm just wondering, could I sleep with you tonight? I'm old enough to move on my own, but I want us to gather some nice memories before that..." I whisper almost maliciously and Feli flinches. He nods weakly and goes in his room. I follow him and close the door, switching the lights off. I can't sleep in light... I also pull the curtains in front of his windows. I can see in the dark a lot better than many other people and I really like it. Light makes my head hurt if it's too bright... Seems like I'm meant to be nocturnal. I can see Feliciano's silhouette shuddering slightly.  
-"F-fratello... I-I don't like when it's this dark... I can't even see where you are." He whispers, looking around franticly. I smirk and creep behind him, closing him in my arms.  
-"I'm right here..." I murmur in his hair, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. Feliciano's breath shivers and he barely can stand. He tries to stop my hands, but I'm persistent. He gives up tentatively and lets me open the buttons. I pull the shirt carefully off him, leaning in to bite his neck. Feli yelps slightly, breathing even faster.  
-"N-No... It hurts... a-and feels weird-" He whimpers out, voice breaking down like he's going to cry. I slowly stop biting and pull away from him, taking off my own clothes. Feliciano seems a bit dazed when I stopped suddenly, quickly moving few steps away from me. He just stares like a terrified animal when I take my pants and boxers off. I give him a slight glare.  
-"Is taking your clothes off that hard? I don't give a fuck how they're gonna come off you, all that matters is to get you naked." He flinches slightly, catching the message. He apparently doesn't want me to rip them off him, so he quickly strips down. Feliciano still hides himself from my hungry gaze. I bet he feels soooo uncomfortable...~  
-"Let's go to bed, fratellino..." I chuckle, almost shivering of excitement.

Feliciano lays down on his bed hesitantly, instantly turning his face to the wall. I get beside him and pull the blanket over us. He curls up and shudders, almost sobbing. I run gently my hand along his back.  
-"Come on... Sleeping together is not that big of a issue..." I mumble and rub his back. Feli relaxes slightly.  
-"...Y-you mean 'just sleep together' or 'sleep' together...?" He asks in a shy and hopeful voice. I chuckle darkly:  
-"Well what do you think...!" He flinches a bit when I pull his body closer to mine, my erection pressing against his lower back. Feliciano breaths in little gasps again, shaking in my hold. He tries to push my hands off him.  
-"N-no, please... Not this, anything else but this-!" He's getting too loud, so I cover his mouth tightly with my hand.  
-"Hush... Don't shout... Remember what I said earlier? I'll strangle you if you do anything funny." I whisper in his ear. Feli nods slightly, I can hear him sobbing in fear.  
-"Good... So you still wish to be alive? I'm glad." I whisper and remove my hand. Instead I move it down to his chest, slowly creeping it lower. Feliciano shudders delightfully when my fingers meet his pubic hair.  
-"N-no... D-don't go further, please... I'll... I'll suck you off, I swear I'll do it good...! I'll make you cum for sure, I'll even swallow-!" He whispers franticly in panic. His pleads sound nice, but I now I want the real thing, not just his mouth... I pull slightly on the hair, hard enough to hurt. Feliciano falls silent right away, just trembling in my hold. I move my hand lower and wrap my fingers around his shaft. I rub and stroke gently.  
-"Does it feel good when I do this...?" I moan in Feli's ear. He shakes his head, but I can feel him getting stiffer. Feli's keeping his own hands in front of his mouth and shivering. I remove my hand and slightly pat on Feli's hands that he would understand to move them. He hesitantly moves them. I can feel his hot breath over my fingers as I press them on his lips, they twitch delightfully.  
-"Suck these nice and wet." I order, forcing my fingers in his mouth. He tries to push the three fingers away with his tongue, but I keep them still. Soon Feli gives up and starts sucking on my fingers. I can feel his soft tongue on my skin, making it all slick with his saliva.

After a while I feel that my fingers were wet enough, so I pull them out. Feliciano shudders slightly and sobs, knowing clearly where I'm going to stick the fingers. I remove my other hand from Feli's waist, instead taking it to the back of his head. I grab his hair and force him to look down. I kick the blanket off us and use my knee to pull his legs apart. I take my hand down slowly and teasingly, running my thumb down his stomach. I soon reach Feli's crotch. He flinches and sobs more, trying to press his thighs together, but can't because of my leg. I prod gently on his entrance, starting to push the first slick finger in. I feel how Feliciano shudders and his breathing gets faster. God he's tight... I tighten my grip of his hair.  
-"Look... Isn't that a pretty sight?" I chuckle in his ear while pressing my finger all the way inside him. Feliciano let's out a muffled cry and a moan.  
-"N-No... C-come on, you can't do something like this, fratello..." Feli mumbles faintly, few tears rolling down his flushed cheeks. I curve the finger inside him, searching for the sweet spot. He moans slightly, but bites his lips to stay quiet.  
-"I guess it's what you call wrong, but I have my needs. By the way, are you a virgin down here? It's damn tight...~" I murmur against his ear, carefully pushing in the second finger. Feliciano yelps slightly and nods.  
-"S-sì... A-and I don't want to lose my virginity to my own brother..." He whispers, again trying to nudge my hand away. I tighten my grip of his hair and force the second finger in a bit rougher than I had intended. Feli instantly pulls his hand back and apologizes barely audibly, pleading still. The third finger barely fits in him, but a little stretching makes it better.  
-"Can you see that? All three fingers fit... You'll be ready to take my cock in no time..." I mumble against his ear, smirking as he squeezes down at my words. Slowly I pull the fingers out and pull the blanket back over us. It would be nasty if our parents caught us like this, it's better if it looks like we're sleeping.

Feliciano shudders slightly when I move his hips a bit, rubbing myself against his buttocks. It feels heavenly on my neglected member. I can't wait any more... I position myself and start pushing in him, it barely fits and won't go in easily.  
-"H-Hey... P-Please, stop already... I-it won't fit... D-don't...!" Feliciano still pleads. I sigh slightly and cover his mouth with my hand.  
-"If you'd just relax it would go in much easier. I don't want to hurt you." I whisper, still slowly pushing myself in. Feli relaxes slightly, not much but enough. I slowly slide in him. Feliciano lets out a quiet cry and curls up a bit more. He turns his head to get my hand off his mouth.  
-"I-It hurts...! It's too big- A-ah-! ...L-Lovi... P-pull it out...! M-Mom w-will check on me s-soon, so stop...!" He whispers franticly and my heart jumps. I hear someone walking in the hall, from the sound of the steps I assume it's mom. I quickly cover Feli's mouth tighter and hold him against me, my length reaching deeper inside him. He's about to mumble something but freezes when the door opens slowly. I know it's mom. I try to pretend I'm sleeping, so does Feliciano. Looks like he doesn't want mom and dad to find him like this...  
-"Aww... Come here darling, look at boys...~ They sleep so sweetly together~" I hear my mom whisper.  
-"Mh. Lovi's old enough to move on his own, it's just natural they get closer before that." Dad grunts, but I can hear that he's surprised as well.  
-"I guess so... But Lovi has always been nasty to Feli... But it's nice to see they get along at last~" Mom whispers back and slowly closes the door. I can hear their talking fading slowly away. Feliciano shudders in my hold, he's crying softly.  
-"That was too close... F-fratello, l-let's not do this, o-okay...?" But I hold him just tighter, chuckling in his hair.  
-"But Feli... Isn't the risk of getting caught exciting you? Too bad, it excites me~" I bet he could feel me getting bigger inside him. Feli shakes his head slightly, trying to shift away, but can't. I take again a grip of his hair and his hip.  
-"I'll start moving now... Don't make much noise." I whisper maybe a bit maliciously and thrust slowly inside my dear fratellino. He gasps softly, trying not to make any louder sounds. It's heavenly, so tight and hot. I grunt softly and thrust faster and harder, making Feli whimper deliciously in my arms.  
-"A-ah, L-Lovi... N-no... T-this isn't s-supposed to... N-gh- D-do you e-even l-love me-?" He mumbles barely audibly, moans interrupting him. I thrust just rougher.  
-"What's your fucking obsession with love? O-of course I don't... That's sick... It's your own fault anyway, you shouldn't have gotten caught." I grunt in his ear aggressively. His body jerks in the rhythm of his sobs, maybe I shouldn't have said that... I do love him, but... He obviously doesn't love me, so there's no way I'll confess to him.

Feliciano doesn't say a word after that, he just obediently lets me fuck him. I can hear small sobs and moans, but overally he's quiet. Works for me. I keep the thrusts deep and slow, just listening to the faint sounds of my brother. I love his panicked breathing, small muffled moans and sobs... I love the feel of his body, how he squeezes around me and that subtle movement of his hips. I breath into his neck and he shivers. I could do this all day, so warm and nice... But I also want my release quick, so I start thrusting faster and rougher. I feel the sweet pleasure getting closer and my grunts turn lustier. Feliciano's body gets stiffer in my arms and he breathes quicker. Soon I make the last rough thrusts and come inside him, filling him up. Feliciano lets out a relieved sigh and tries to pull away from me. I don't let him, I want to stay inside him for a while. Just a while... Before I knew it I fell asleep holding my brother close, still inside him.

In the morning I wake up and Feliciano's nowhere near. Beside me there's a little puddle of dried cum. When I listened closely I could hear the shower, Feli's probably there. I stretch my arms and sit up. Feliciano has opened the curtains, so the room is bright. It's beautiful and green outside, but I'd rather go there at night. I wear my clothes quickly and go back in my own room. I search the laundry piles on my floor for a towel and I do find one. I take the clothes hastily off and wrap the towel around my lower body. Then I go to wait behind the door of the bathroom. The shower is off and I hear him moving in the room. Soon the steps come closer and the door opens. Feliciano flinches when he sees me.  
-"B-Buongiorno...!" He blurts quickly and runs in his own room. How strange little man he is... I take a shower to wash the sweat off. Breakfast is soon, so I have to be quick. Feliciano seems distant when we eat. Tonight I want to go outside with him... Maybe a blowjob in the pale moonlight? Also Feli seems to want love, but I'm not sure how to give him that without labelling myself as an incestuous creep. I take a bite of my toast lazily. Why Feli doesn't resist more than this? He could tell. Sexual abuse is a lot bigger problem than cheating in an exam... Not complaining, but... I just don't get it.

Later I go back in my room to think things trough. Maybe Feli really believes that I could kill him. I have the whole day ahead and I can't wait for the night. Maybe I can plot something smarter to do during the day. Sometimes I hate it how strong my libido is, but I can't help it. Now I have something to fuck, so of course I'll use it's full potential! Then I remember how thrilling the last night was, the feeling of almost getting caught... I get an idea. I quickly jump up from my bed and rush to Feli's door. I knock on it few times and open it. It's dark inside. Odd... Feli never covers his windows... When I look further in the room I see Feliciano curled up in the furthest corner of his bed. I can only see a bit of his hair sticking up from the blanket he's wrapped himself in.  
-"...Feli?" I ask gently. He flinches and peeks from the depths of the blanket. His eyes shine in a way I haven't seen before. It was just a moment, then the look went away.  
-"Y-yeah...?" He whispers weakly, voice shaking the slightest.  
-"I'm bored. Wanna watch a movie?" I ask smirking. It almost seems like I interrupted my sweet brother's fapping session... The thought makes me smile.  
-"...A-alright... J-just wait a sec..." Feliciano mumbles quietly and I lean against his door frame. As he sees I'm not going to leave him alone he sighs and stands up with the blanket wrapped tighter around his body.  
-"Nevermind, let's go..." He mumbles shakily, cheeks slightly blushed. Feli follows me silently to downstairs and to the living room. I choose a random movie from the dvd-shelf, it really doesn't matter what we watch, but what we do during the movie... Feliciano curls up on the sofa and seems a bit pained. I slump next to him and smirk. I quickly press play and pull Feli to lean slightly against me. Dad's out in the garden and mom's upstairs painting again. Feliciano shudders slightly.  
-"Something wrong?" I ask him and touch his cheek. He flinches slightly, blushing a bit more.  
-"It's nothing..." Feli bluntly replies and stares at the screen. While he looks away I try to find a way to get inside his blanket. I notice a small opening and slip my hand in.

Feliciano yelps quite loudly and looks at me with a panicked face.  
-"D-don't you want anything but sex!" He hisses quietly, trying to curl up tighter. I already managed to slip my hand between his stomach and thigh, finding what I was looking for.  
-"You're hard." I simply say. Feliciano shivers and moans when I stroke him.  
-"I-it's not your problem..." He whispers trough his clenched teeth. I sincerely laugh.  
-"First you whine that I want noting but sex, but then you crave for the same damn thing!" I whisper back and Feli blushes crimson.  
-"I-I don't...! As I said, I don't like loveless sex...!" He protests, but I know he wants it... I grab him and lift him on my lap.  
-"If we both want it, why won't we do it right here?" I ask with a devilish grin, lifting the back of Feli's blanket. Feliciano seems a bit uncomfortable, but doesn't fight back. He just sighs and mumbles.  
-"Just be quick, I don't want to get caught like this." There was a hidden heat in his voice though... I quickly reach under the blanket to open my zipper and let my hard member out.  
-"Don't worry, it'll look innocent... It's like you're just sitting on my lap like a good little brother..." I whisper and lift him, positioning myself on his entrance and plunging in him. This time I didn't care to prepare him, for my surprise he was already stretched. Feliciano lets out just a muffled moan and leans back, just sitting on my cock.  
-"You better make me cum too..." He mumbles a bit bitterly. I smirk and do a light thrust, slowly rocking back and forth.  
-"Alright. I'll help you with that, fratellino..." I whisper in his ear, taking my hands to his hard, throbbing length, starting to stroke on it. I can feel he enjoys it, squirming in pleasure and bucking in my hand... It's such a bliss, the boring movie is on the background while I fuck my little brother on the couch. Mom and dad could walk in on any second... Feliciano's breathing turns deeper and lustier, he bites on his fingers to stay quiet. I handle him with the greatest care and skill, trying to make him feel ecstatic. It's so satisfying to see him enjoy my hands. He feels a bit drippy already, but I decided to prolong the pleasure and tease him a bit. Time to time I change the way I handle his length, sometimes with feather soft touches, sometimes with almost hurting rough touches. Every time he starts to get close to the edge I stop for a moment. Feliciano whimpers slightly, squirming, trying to get even some friction to his needy length. At last when I feel that I'm close as well I let him to have his release. He shudders delightfully in my arms, staining my hands in the sticky liquid and then falls almost limp on me. The way he squeezes down on me while he cums makes me to climax as well. I empty myself again inside my dear fratellino, bursting every last drop in his hot depths. We both lay breathless there, Feliciano still tightly on my lap. Then I hear sound of footsteps from the upstairs. I quickly pull Feli in a less questionable pose on my lap and try to calm my breathing down. Mom walks downstairs, I hear she goes in the kitchen.  
-"Oh darling, isn't it cute how they watch a movie together~?" I hear her voice say.  
-"Mh. Yeah. Want some fresh tomatoes?" I freeze when I hear dad's voice. When did he come in? Was he there all along? Most importantly, did he see or hear us? The way Feli shakes I know he thinks the same. I keep him close and we decide to finish the movie. When mom goes back upstairs I pull out of Feli and close my pants, hoping that they won't be too stained in cum. Feliciano wraps the blanket tighter around himself, persistently staying in my lap.

After the movie I shower again to be fresh for the night. The sun starts to set already and it paints the scenery in different shades of orange. It was going to be a beautiful night; I could faintly see the moon in the horizon, it's almost full. Just staring out of the window made shivers run up my back. I listen the faint sound of running water, Feli's taking a shower as well. He doesn't know yet of my plans, surprises are the best. I know a perfect place in our large backyard, there's an old weeping willow with some lupins growing around it, making it quite shady. There also grows harebells, cranebills and white clovers. Dad has planted some geraniums on the either sides of the path to that place. Then I think about it; is it too romantic? But... It's what Feli likes, right? The sun sets pretty fast and it got darker outside. I wear a simple black T-shirt and black jeans. Then I go behind Feli's door and knock on it. Feliciano opens it right away and peeks out with a cautious face. He smells shower fresh and looks cute in an oversized blue collar shirt.  
-"What is it now?" He asks in a bit tense tone. I smile at him.  
-"Let's go outside. I have something for you." Feli seems surprised for a moment and blushes, but then nods carefully.  
-"If you say so... Let me put pants on first." He mumbles and grabs the nearest pants he has in his reach. After he's done putting them on I grab his hand and lead him downstairs. We quickly put some shoes on and step out of the door into the cool night.

Dew has already captured the grass in it's wet embrace. My pant leg gets a bit wet, but I don't care. I lead Feliciano deep in our backyard, past the geraniums and under the weeping willow. I sit down on the slightly wet grass and lean against the tree, looking in the distance where the moon is rising. Feli sits hesitantly next to me.  
-"W-why did we come here...?" He asks carefully, fidgeting nervously.  
-"Because this is a pretty place." I answer, picking up a lonely daisy next to the willow.  
-"It sure is... Why come I haven't been here earlier?" Feliciano asks nodding, but looks carefully what I'm doing. I turn to him and slip the daisy behind his ear.  
-"This is mostly my place, I come here only at night. It's deep enough behind the garden so it's hard to see." I answer smiling. Feliciano's cheeks get an adorable red shade and he seems a bit confused, but kinda happy also.  
-"So you took me to your own secret place...?" He asks his eyes glimmering deep amber.  
-"Pretty much like that." I grunt back and look up to the sky. Stars dot the almost black, velvety looking sky. Feliciano's silent, but I can hear him fidgeting nervously. When I look back at him he tilts his head slightly, eyes half lidded and looking like he wants a kiss and a confession. This would be a perfect place for it, but I'm definitely not ready... I give him just a cold smirk and "the" look, slowly opening my zipper. Feli seems a bit surprised for a second but leans down right away and pulls my member out. His slender fingers feel as good as ever and his warm tongue slides up and down my length. I'm surprised I didn't need to say aloud what I want, but he understood it by himself... Thoughts drained slowly from my head when my cock was taken deep in my brother's hot mouth. Feliciano works with the greatest care and love he has, I see. It sure feels amazing, every teasing twirl of his tongue, every stroke of his hands... My vision is getting hazy from the pleasure. I move my hands on top of Feli's head, pushing him to move faster. He does exactly as I silently command. His teeth graze my length time to time, but that can't be avoided... It doesn't actually feel that nasty, just a bit shivers giving. The drool drips down Feli's chin and his cheeks burn more scarlet than ever. He looks up in my eyes. He has such gazelle eyes, so big, shiny and beautiful... Feli takes my length deeper in his mouth, almost deepthroating me. He gags the slightest but does everything he can to please me. Why...? Blackmailing and threatening isn't that effective, or... is it? Soon the blissful wave of pleasure washes over my body and bursts in Feli's mouth. He coughs a bit and flinches in surprise, but pulls back and swallows my load. Then he looks up to me with hopeful eyes, but I can't look him in the eyes. What the fuck I'm supposed to say...? Thanks that was nice, K bye? Feli looks like he wants to hear something more. I silently pet his head and stand up. He looks a bit dazed and hurt as he doesn't get anything else. Maybe I feel a bit bad for him, but I honestly don't know what to say. I walk back to our house, Feliciano following me. I think he's crying, at least it sounds like that. Sorry... I'm just not ready for this yet. You want me to say it, but I don't know how you feel towards me. I've always been bad with feelings and this is the first time it actually makes me frustrated... I say good night to Feli and he says nothing, just locks himself up in his room. I go in my own room, strip down and go to sleep. Feliciano's soft touches and the feel of his tongue still lingers on my skin...

Mom and dad decide to visit our aunt in another city, which means I can be with Feliciano for few days without any interruptions. Neither of us wants to leave, I don't know if Feli really wants to go to auntie, but I intimidated him not to go. I haven't seen him today much, twice I think, at morning and right when mom and dad left. I spend my day on computer once again, so I don't feel like bothering him.

Somewhere near the night I start feeling hungry, so I shut off my computer and go to the downstairs. Something smells good. I walk in the kitchen. Feliciano's cooking. He turns around and smiles.  
-"I'm making pasta~ Are you hungry, fratello~?" He asks, looking all happy and energetic like always. I nod and smile.  
-"Yup, I sure am. How long it takes?" I ask and sit down, leaning against the dining table.  
-"It's soon ready, I'll just rinse it and it'll be good~" Feli answers and continues whatever he's doing. I stand up and take plates, cups, forks and knives for us, placing them on the table. I also set down two trivets and Feli puts the pots on them. Then we start eating. Feli's a good cook, a very good cook I must say. He often cooks with mom while I tend the garden with dad. Feli looks still a bit down.  
-"Hey Lovi... ..." He says suddenly, seemingly wanting to continue but can't find the words. I look up at him and nod slightly.  
-"What is it?" I ask, swallowing a forkful of pasta.  
-"...D-Doesn't it bother you that... that... this thing we do is... incestuous...?" He mumbles. I blink.  
-"Not that much. It doesn't matter are you my brother or not, but I think the taboo puts a special kick in this." I answer, continuing eating like it's a completely normal topic. Feli sighs softly, putting the fork down.  
-"Do you hate me?" He asks, looking serious. My eyes widen, I don't know what to say to that... I stay silent. If I say no, he'll ask why I do this... And then I have to say that I love him, which makes me a sick fucker. If I say I hate him... I've said that always, I can't tell that lie any more. I try to say something close enough.  
-"...But I've always been gentle and-"  
-"JUST DO YOU HATE ME!" Feliciano shouts at me. I flinch and freeze, not answering. I'm confused. Why such a question? I glare in his eyes.  
-"What's your fucking obsession with love?" I grunt. Now Feli looks just sad. He stands up abruptly and walks out of the kitchen. I want to bash my head in the table. A little before he reaches the stairs he looks over his shoulder and grunts.  
-"Good night." Then he goes in his room and locks the door. I really don't know what to think. Why didn't I tell him! Fuck! Now I feel rather angry, not to myself, but to him! He approached me in a wrong way... It's his fucking fault like everything else. I have to punish him for it... I take my phone out and text to Antonio, Francis and Gilbert, some of my closest buddies. I know they've always had some sort of sick affection to Feli as well. They don't know about mine, really they know NOTHING about me. I can't trust them that much... For them I keep up the act that I hate him. My text is short and makes the thing clear:

"How much would you pay to fuck Feliciano now?"

I get back 3 messages, they all offering fuckloads of money. I smile devilishly and put the phone back in my pocket. I quickly walk in my room and search the drawers, looking for some things... I find my old taser which I had when I still was with a local gang. It'll do just fine... I'll teach that bitch a lesson, you won't walk away from me like that and make me feel this disgusting feeling... The way it feels and what I've read, this must be "guilt"...? And it's all his fault.

I go behind Feli's door and knock on it. Silence. I knock again.  
-"Go away!" He shouts from the other side of the door. I knock harder.  
-"Feli, please, listen to me! I'm sorry okay?" I shout back. I can hear him walk to the door.  
-"Sorry about what? That you hate me so much?" He asks with an icy cold voice.  
-"Hey, you didn't let me even answer to your question!" I grunt. I can hear a sigh from the other side of the door.  
-"So... Why are you behind my door? Are you craving for a free loveless fuck again? Do you want to hurt me more? ...Really, I'm so disappointed in you..." His voice trails off.  
-"No! Just please, open the door, I want to tell this to you face-to-face..." I say, a smirk growing on my face. It's quiet for a moment, then I hear the key turning in the lock. Damn he's easy to fool... I get my taser ready. The door opens slowly, Feliciano's crying, looking hopeful. Without any hesitation I press the taser in his neck. He twitches and faints right away, I catch him before he hits the floor. He didn't even have time to look surprised. That's what you get... I drag him in the garage and search for dad's rope he uses to bind the apple trees. I find it quickly and go back to Feli. I flip him on his stomach and tie his hands behind his back. Luckily he was going to bed before this, so he was naked already. At this point I quickly send 3 messages.

"Come here with the money, I've got Feli nice and bound up for you."

Then I tie Feli's ankles to his thighs so he can't run. At last I search a scarf from his room and blindfold him with it. Perfect. Now I just wait for my guests... All three live really near to me, so it won't be long before they arrive. While waiting I try to make Feli to wake up. I grab his hair and slap on his cheeks. After few slaps he starts whimpering and squirming. That's conscious enough... I hear the doorbell ringing and I go to open. All three stand behind the door, looking rather excited.  
-"Man, tell me you're not joking about this!" Gilbert grins. I grin back.  
-"Of course not, I have that little fucker bound in the garage." I lead them to the garage door and let them see Feli.  
-"Whoa... You weren't joking, Lovinito! I'll gladly give you my money. Just don't tell about this to anyone!" Antonio exclaims and shoves his money in my hand. He dashes quickly to my little brother, starting to feel him up. I still feel guilty.  
-"Ohoho, I can't let Antonio take 'im all to 'imself~" Francis laughs with his strong accent and pays me as well. He goes as well. They touch everywhere. Gilbert says nothing, he just leaves the money to me and runs after the others. Feli better learn his lesson and stop making me feel feelings I don't want to feel.  
-"Have fun~" I say before I close the door and sit next to it, just listening their voices and counting the money.

For a long time there's just lusty groans, heavy panting and Feli's screams. Sometimes they're muffled. I feel actually bad for a change. Punishing him doesn't make this feeling go away, I notice. They fuck him for a long time, very long time... Don't they get tired already? Feli doesn't scream any more, I can hear him mumble something quietly, but can't make out what he's saying. The waiting clenches my heart. What have I done...? What he'll look like, have they hurt Feli? After a long while the door opens and the tree come out. They look spent but happy.  
-"Oh yes, that was totally worth the price, Lovi! I'd do it again any time if I had the money!" Gilbert says, pumping his fist with mine.  
-"Ohohoo~ Your frère is a great fuck! Though I think there's something wrong with 'is 'ead... 'E kept moaning YOUR name..." Francis said, with a smirk.  
-"Yeah, he must be some kind of sick fuck! No wonder why you hate him so much! Haha!" Antonio added. My eyes widen. No. That can't be. I quickly say my goodbyes to my friends and run to Feliciano. I didn't know... Is he in love with ME? Why the hell...? I think he was expecting me to confess to him back then when he opened the door... He's laying in a puddle of cum. It's everywhere, he's all sticky... Feli sobs softly. I start undoing the ropes quickly. How could I...? I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm so fucking sick... Now I just know it, there is definitely something wrong with me. Feli lays limp when I've taken the ropes away. I don't care to put the rope back to where it belongs now, so I just throw it away in the corner of the garage and scoop Feli up in my arms. He curls up slightly and holds on to me, shaking and sobbing. I take him to the shower and take the blindfold off. His eyes are dull and tear filled. I never wanted to see him like this. The guilt is unbearable. I start washing him, trying to soothe him down at the same time. He says nothing, just shakes. I did wrong. I don't know what's with me. I wash every last drop of their filthy cum off my dearest brother, but I still can't clean him completely. He's forever stained, dirty and that's my fault. He loved me and I let him down...

After the shower I wrap Feli up in a fuzzy towel and dry him up. He looks right trough me. My heart clenches at that sight. I take him downstairs in the living room and make him to sit down on the couch. He shakes. I sit at the other end of the couch. I could just cry, which I haven't done in many years.  
-"Feli... I'm sorry, I really am." I start. He doesn't answer. I'm sure he despises me now. I can hear from his breathing that he's crying.  
-"I-I don't know how to ask this... But..." I whisper, not really knowing how I should talk to him now.  
-"I heard you moaned my name... So I was wondering, is there any chance you like me...?" I continue. Feli's whole body goes stiff suddenly.  
-"Love!" He grunts suddenly, but jumps as if it was a mistake and he didn't mean to say that. I feel strange and my mouth feels dry.  
-"Feliciano... Are you in love with me?" I ask with a trembling voice, heart thumping harder than ever. He looks away and after a long time nods slowly. The tears fall down my cheeks.  
-"How much more you're letting me to do to you before you really hate me?" I ask quietly. Feliciano understands it as a negative reply and curls up even tighter, crying out loud. I hush him and pull him to lean against my chest.  
-"...But you love a sick fuck like me...? ...D-do you know how I feel about that?" I ask, looking down to him. Feli flinches and looks terrified for a second, but I won't hurt him. I press my lips softly on his. He winces, but after a while presses back. I move my lips against his, pulling him closer. He kisses me, I kiss him... It gets much deeper and wetter... I kiss him over and over again, just enjoying the soft touch of his lips. His tongue feels slick and hot against mine. I can't believe that this is our first kiss... We've been doing ...things for few days already and we haven't even shared a single kiss. I wanna hold him tighter and never let go. I feel him panting between the kisses, his hot breath... I would say I'm going crazy, but I don't think I can 'cause I already am. At last I force myself to pull away from him. We're both crying and flushed. This is the 'love' everyone's talking about, I'm sure of it. But I have to say it...  
-"Feli... I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm moving away at last." I whisper. Feliciano looks shocked.  
-"W-why... But we just- Don't leave me alone..." He stutters, tears falling faster down his cheeks. I can't look in his face.  
-"I'm a maniac. I'm going to get some kind of treatment. Please, I don't want to hurt you any more than this. That's why I'm leaving." I whisper, trying to keep my voice calm. Feli sobs softly, I can feel his body jerk slightly.  
-"D-Don't leave me, please... I just confessed to you... You can't! I love you, Lovi!" He cries out and clutches to me. He's crying. I'm crying too.  
-"At least... Let me do this..." He whispers and leans in, kissing me. It's such a gentle yet passionate kiss. He wraps his arms around my neck and lays down, pulling me on top of him.

I don't know how long we just laid there kissing passionately and comforting each other but suddenly the front door opens. Mom and dad are back. I can hear their voices in the aula.  
-"T-that bitch! I don't even know what to say...!" Mom screams, apparently she has once again argued with aunt and left early... I quickly pull away from Feliciano and he tries to wrap the towel better around him. Though it's already too late. I find myself looking in two pairs of rather curious, others more shocked eyes. Feliciano sits up as well, looking at our parents. Dad looks like he knows already of our relationship, but mom looks plain shocked. She can see that Feliciano had cried, so she makes a wrong conclusion and dashes forward, slapping my cheek so hard I fall off the couch.  
-"Lovino Vargas! What are you doing to your little brother!" She screams, obviously really mad at me. Feliciano gasps in shock and climbs down on the floor to keep me safe.  
-"M-Mom, no! It's not what you think it is! I love him!" He keeps me in a tight hug that mom can't hit me again.  
-"Don't try to protect him, your own brother tried to rape you! If not, then why are you crying!" Mom shouts again. Feliciano flinches and curls smaller, too afraid to answer. Luckily dad puts his hand on mom's shoulder.  
-"Honey, calm down... Boys have had something going on for a while now, don't be mad at them. They are old enough to decide. The other one's moving away soon and the other one's getting into a high school." Dad speaks calmly, not looking grumpy for a change.  
-"I-I'm not! I-I cheated in the entrance exam." Feliciano shouts. We all freeze. Feli admitted it... Mom and dad seem shocked.  
-"B-But you don't have to tell them, y-you'll get in either way...!" Mom stutters, still a bit dazed of the whole mess.  
-"I'm going to tell. I'm not going in that school. ...I'll try again next year. I want to move away with fratello." Feliciano says with a serious face.  
-"B-But Feli, that school was so important to you...!" I blurt out, surprised of what I heard.  
-"Not as important as you..." He whispers and holds my hand. Mom cries softly against dad's shoulder. I slowly get up, pulling my brother with me.  
-"...That's right. I'll move out soon and take my only brother, my love with me." I say, looking dad sternly in the eyes. He nods, mom tries to say something but dad puts his finger over her lips.  
-"Very well. I don't know what to think of your relationship, but it can't be helped... ...I guess there won't be any grandchildren then...? But you're both my boys so I can't do anything but give you my blessing." He talks softly, with a different tone than normally. I nod and give him a slight smirk.  
-"Grazie." Feliciano whispers, clinging tightly to my waist. I'm not sure what mom thinks of this, but I won't let anybody come between us now. I want to be cured. I want to feel. And with Feliciano on my side I think I'm ready to search for help. He'll support me and give me the love I crave... Just now I think I know what love is, but the next thing I want to learn is happiness. I believe Feliciano can teach it to me. And so he does, he gives me every day something to be happy about. I've searched a cheap apartment for us to move in, we'll leave in two days. Just the last notes before I go back to Feli:

_I think I'm happy._

* * *

Hello. We meet again.  
...I guess it's also bye bye~ I ask you kindly to tell me what do you think~


End file.
